There's a long moment where it seems like maybe Ronan isn't going to say anything. It can be hard to tell with Ronan what's silence and what's a longer than usual pause where he tries to fit words together in a semblance of sense. Eventually, he says something in a tone that's not quite a whisper but might not be loud enough for Adam to hear.
"I thought I'd never see you again." Even though Ronan is looking down, he is still facing Adam. Then, louder: "Odi et amo. Quare id faciam, fortasse requiris. Nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior."
Ronan's recitation has never been good, exactly, but for once he doesn't need it to be. He just lets the emptiness that's been gnawing at him since he arrived leak into the words, because it's easier in Latin. He can use Catullus' words to convey something he can't quite manage to put together in English: the warring feelings of being so overwhelmed with relief that Adam is here, that Adam is safe, and the knowledge that something could be happening back home and they wouldn't be there to stop it. That the train isn't safe, exactly. They've never been safe, but in the makeshift sphere of the summer Ronan never wanted to end it had been easy to pretend everything could be safe.
Before he kissed Adam because the world seemed like it might end and Ronan decided that if that was true then it was worth shifting the entire world into something unknown, Ronan never let himself come to close to Adam because he was utterly terrified of what would happen. Now that they're inextricably entangled like two trees that have braided themselves into one, Ronan is no less terrified of the entirety of what he feels for Adam.
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"I thought I'd never see you again." Even though Ronan is looking down, he is still facing Adam. Then, louder: "Odi et amo. Quare id faciam, fortasse requiris. Nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior."
Ronan's recitation has never been good, exactly, but for once he doesn't need it to be. He just lets the emptiness that's been gnawing at him since he arrived leak into the words, because it's easier in Latin. He can use Catullus' words to convey something he can't quite manage to put together in English: the warring feelings of being so overwhelmed with relief that Adam is here, that Adam is safe, and the knowledge that something could be happening back home and they wouldn't be there to stop it. That the train isn't safe, exactly. They've never been safe, but in the makeshift sphere of the summer Ronan never wanted to end it had been easy to pretend everything could be safe.
Before he kissed Adam because the world seemed like it might end and Ronan decided that if that was true then it was worth shifting the entire world into something unknown, Ronan never let himself come to close to Adam because he was utterly terrified of what would happen. Now that they're inextricably entangled like two trees that have braided themselves into one, Ronan is no less terrified of the entirety of what he feels for Adam.